?

Log in

 

The Sickness - PLEASED WITH DISEASE

About The Sickness

Previous Entry The Sickness Jun. 5th, 2006 @ 12:54 pm Next Entry
Leave a comment
[User Picture Icon]
From:rheostat001
Date:June 6th, 2006 03:11 am (UTC)

good stuff. just two changes...

(Link)
1. "Tara heard a gentle crackling sound, like a geiger counter. Tara saw several pair of reinforced tabi accumulate around the base of her door." I'd change the second sentence to "she" instead of repeating her name...

2... I forget what two was. no big.

Like I said before, good stuff. really strong work. You write the kind of sf I can't ever seem to muster.
From:echolocator
Date:June 6th, 2006 05:44 am (UTC)

Re: good stuff. just two changes...

(Link)
1. Yeah, accidents. Nose too close to the page, as always. Thanks for catching it.

2... Tell me whenever you remember. I'm at that don't-know-how-I-feel stage, so any and all pieces of advice are welcome.

As far as SF goes, I dunno. I'm just writing stories with sciffy tropes in 'em. If I'm showing any proficiency, chalk it up to the fact I've had my nose in waaay too much of it lately.

But thank you. Now getcherself to bed so's we kin snuggle up.
(Leave a comment)
Top of Page Powered by LiveJournal.com