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River Morning Ritual - PLEASED WITH DISEASE

About River Morning Ritual

Previous Entry River Morning Ritual Jun. 4th, 2006 @ 11:17 pm Next Entry
"River Morning Ritual" just flew off to meet the nice gentlemen who run R U M B L E... Here's hoping...


It was six o’clock of a slow Sunday morning. The moon had long since fallen into the gutter, slipped between the sewer grates and washed into the river. It bobbed under the bridge, past the hobos holding meeting, all knelt down among the rushes. The long grass flared up red in the rising sun, and the hobos tilted their heads up to Sweet Maria standing before them. Facing East and the river, she was pink and lovely, long black hair falling down over her shoulders.

Maria looked at the moon, and the moon looked at Maria. It was understood between them that Maria would say nothing to her congregation, and the moon would float unnoticed – pale and glowing in the morning river – away to sleep.
JETSAM: Nick Cave like a mutha
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From:echolocator
Date:June 5th, 2006 04:51 am (UTC)
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Bloody pristine. Beautiful isn't the word. An exquisite turn, amazing and totally expressive. Looks good on you. I want more of it.
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From:cola_fan
Date:June 5th, 2006 05:03 am (UTC)
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Nice vignette. The hobos complete the scene.
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From:unedge
Date:June 6th, 2006 02:11 am (UTC)
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Is the dog Maria's seeing-eye dog?
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From:sweet_lowdown
Date:June 6th, 2006 02:45 am (UTC)
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only if it makes you happy.
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From:physicaljerx
Date:June 9th, 2006 07:46 pm (UTC)
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i don't get it. : (
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From:physicaljerx
Date:June 9th, 2006 07:52 pm (UTC)
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all that resonated with me is the association between being homeless and substance abuse, and i would say that one does not necessarily precipitate the other.

the social worker who doesn't read fiction anymore sure has a way of being boring...

did you know there's an annual hobo convention? http://www.hobo.com/
From:(Anonymous)
Date:June 10th, 2006 12:26 am (UTC)
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oookay... I understand that not all homeless people are substance abusers. That sentence is about a feeling. It doesn't really matter where they're going, just that they're going... I'm sorry this didn't work for you, but I don't know what to say... flash fiction is about the experience of the piece, not about a larger message or meaning. it's about creating a world in a, well, in a flash, exploring it for a moment and then leaving again...

*shrug*
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From:rheostat001
Date:June 10th, 2006 12:27 am (UTC)
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sorry, that wasn't supposed to be anonymous. it's me.
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From:sweet_lowdown
Date:June 10th, 2006 12:22 am (UTC)
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what don't you get? What doesn't work for you?
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From:frankenchris
Date:June 11th, 2006 09:44 pm (UTC)
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I'll have to reread it. I like that it's lyrical.
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